Rewiring Your Life Using the MAGIC Formula for Happiness with Brian Dubow

Ashish Kothari: Hey, Brian, it’s lovely to have you with us on the Happiness Squad.

Brian Dubow: It's so good to be here, Ashish. This has been a long time coming, and I’m excited for this conversation.

Ashish Kothari: Brian, we met almost a year ago, and it was a complete happenstance. I had reached out to Tal Ben Shahar to see if any graduates from the Happiness Studies Academy would be interested in joining Happiness Squad and helping us bring our offering to clients. Around the same time, you reached out to me, and we started talking.

Since then, we’ve been collaborating. I’ve been meaning to have you share more about the amazing work you're doing, and where we’re headed with our listeners. So, thank you. I’m glad we’re having this conversation today.

Before, you and I started collaborating on Happiness Squad. You were the founder of a company called Hit of Happiness. I can see the logo in the background. I’m curious about what motivated you to start that company, and what Hit of Happiness is all about.

Brian Dubow: What motivated me to start the company was following my curiosity. I didn’t set out to start a happiness company at first—I was just following the happiness path. A little background: like you, I was in consulting at one of the big four accounting firms. You were at McKinsey.

I learned a lot and it was a great experience, but after a few years, I wasn’t feeling much purpose or meaning. I started wondering, what else is out there? How do people find purpose in what they do? I was looking for that spark, something more fulfilling.

That led me on a journey of having conversations with all kinds of people—entrepreneurs, executives, athletes, artists—asking them, “What makes your life meaningful? What makes you feel alive? What makes you happy?”

One of the most inspiring conversations I had was with Dr. Tal Ben Shahar, a professor from Harvard. We met for coffee, and I thought he’d give me about 15 minutes, but we ended up talking for over two hours.

By the end, I thought, "Whatever he’s doing, I want in." He convinced me to sign up for a program to become a certified happiness trainer and coach. That program was a deep dive into the science of happiness—learning what actually makes us happy versus what we think makes us happy.

For me, the most impactful part was becoming extremely intentional about my happiness. I realized happiness is a choice, directly linked to our actions. It’s not easy, but through practices like exercise, meditation, and journaling, I saw dramatic changes in my energy levels—even while working the same consulting job.

I realized the job wasn’t the problem, my internal state was. After a year, my happiness went from about a three or four out of ten to an eight out of ten. Same hours, same clients, but now I knew: happiness is an inside job.

If this worked for me, why couldn’t it work for others? So, I started coaching on the side, picking up a few clients to help them find more meaning in their day-to-day lives. One thing led to another, and that inspired me to start a blog and a podcast. I thought I was building a lifestyle brand—sharing knowledge that could help people find purpose and happiness.

Look at past crises like the: 2008

From there, things just spiraled. I switched jobs to focus on human capital strategy at PwC. I knew there was a need for happiness in the workplace, and I started leading workshops for thousands of people.

At that point, I realized there was a business here. If this could work at PwC, why not anywhere? So, I got my MBA and built out what is now a happiness coaching and corporate consulting business. I also teach a class at UCLA.

Ashish Kothari: And we're partnering to bring Rewire and Happiness programs to so many different clients. I'm excited to see where this goes.

Brian Dubow: Exactly. Most importantly, Ashish and I are collaborating to bring our energies and outlooks to the corporate and entrepreneurial worlds, and really to everyone we can reach, helping them find that inner happiness.

As I’ve said before, happiness is an inside job. It’s so easy to get caught up in thinking, “When I get the promotion, I'll be happy,” or, “When I get the house, I'll be happy,” but it’s really about what's happening inside. That’s what Ashish and I are focusing on.

Ashish Kothari: Yeah, Brian, what you’ve shared is so powerful. First, kudos to you for being curious and following that curiosity, which is so important. And second, for having the courage to leave a stable job to live a life of service and help others.

A lot of people think happiness is about doing less, but the reality is what you said: happiness is connected to productivity. I had the same experience in my last five years at McKinsey—I got more done between 9 AM and 6 PM than I used to get done between 6 AM and 9 PM.

Let me repeat that—I got more done in nine hours than I used to in fifteen. That’s the level of productivity and performance that’s possible. You free up time to do other things you love, or get more done toward your goals.

Performance and well-being don't have to be mutually exclusive. You don't have to sacrifice well-being to achieve great things, or take a lower-stress job to focus on health. The science of happiness shows that high levels of well-being lead to high levels of performance.

It’s all about the habits and practices we build. That’s why we created Rewire, which is fundamentally a habit formation program designed to help people become happier, more adaptable, more resilient, and healthier. We’ll talk more about that later in the podcast.

But Brian, I want to dive into the frameworks you’ve created—one is called MAGIC, and the other is INSPIRE. Can you talk about MAGIC? I'd love for our listeners to hear how they can live their best lives day to day through this framework.

Brian Dubow: Absolutely, Ashish. Thank you for bringing that up. I view happiness as two-faceted.

First, there’s happiness over time—when you look back over the past few months, has it been meaningful? Purposeful? That’s where the INSPIRE framework comes in, which addresses happiness over time.

But then there’s the day-to-day emotional state, and that’s where MAGIC comes into play. Ideally, you want to feel more positive than negative emotions in a given day.

I say more positive than negative because no one is happy all the time. You might wake up feeling good, have a tough moment, and then feel happy again later. Happiness is a rollercoaster, but we can improve how we handle those ups and downs.

That’s where the science of happiness and habits can make a difference. Instead of having terrible days that feel like a one out of ten, you can have difficult days that are more like a six out of ten. And on good days, you can aim for a ten out of ten.

MAGIC is the framework I developed with five daily practices that make each day better and help you experience happiness. MAGIC stands for Mindfulness, Activity, Gratitude, Inspiration, and Connection. You can do all of these in about 30 minutes, and I promise you, it makes a dramatic difference. It’s all about being intentional.

I also have a program called 66 Happy, which focuses on doing these things for 66 days. Research on habit formation shows it takes about 66 days to build a habit.

By doing MAGIC for 66 days, the habits that are scientifically proven to make you happier will become part of your life. You won’t need to think about happiness anymore—you’ll just be happy, and that will allow you to excel in every other area of your life.

Ashish Kothari: What’s beautiful about this, if you think about MAGIC, is how it resonates with our day-to-day experiences. Just stop for a moment, step back, and ask yourself: how would you describe your day-to-day life? Would you describe it as magical, mundane, or busy? The beauty of the five practices that Brian creatively created—MAGIC—is that it can help turn the mundane into magical.

We live from minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day, week to week. Instead of chasing vacations to feel happy and rested, these practices can help you bring magic into your everyday life. You can have a magical life all the way forward.

That’s the beauty—turning the mundane into magical, really smelling the roses, enjoying the journey up the mountain, instead of realizing, "Oh, I reached the top but missed all the scenery along the way, and now it's time to go down."

Brian Dubow: Right.

Ashish Kothari: So let's break down each part of MAGIC, starting with M—mindfulness and meditation. A lot of people already know why mindfulness and meditation are good for us.

What I’m curious about is, as part of the programs you're running, how are you helping people build habits around it? Most people know they should meditate, but something always gets in the way. What are two or three ways you’ve helped people build a habit of mindfulness?

Brian Dubow: Absolutely. You're right. People know they should be meditating, but they often say, “I don’t have time to meditate.” I like to say, "You don’t have time not to meditate or be mindful." But how do we make this easy? Because the idea of sitting still for even two minutes can be scary—sitting with your thoughts and all that.

I like to start with: what does five mindful minutes in your morning look like? I know 90% of people listening probably start their day by checking their phone. They likely use it as their alarm clock, and as soon as the alarm goes off, they’re scrolling through emails, texts, maybe even social media. The moment you check your phone, you’re prioritizing the world’s to-do list over your own.

So, my number one recommendation for mindfulness is to start by getting an alarm clock—stop using your phone to wake up. They cost about $7.99 on Amazon, and I promise it’ll change your life.

Then, take three to five mindful minutes first thing in the morning. So much comes through your subconscious while you sleep, and you might be amazed by what you think about when you aren’t constantly distracting yourself.

It can be as simple as having a cup of coffee—really tasting the coffee. Or it could be going for a walk with your dog, or even just brushing your teeth and feeling the bristles on your gums. Do something mindfully every day.

Unfortunately, many of us are on autopilot from the moment we wake up. We follow cues unconsciously instead of being aware of what’s happening.

Another simple practice for me is taking a few breaths in the middle of the workday. Regulating the nervous system with just three breaths is a game-changer. If you're listening, let's try it right now.

Take three breaths—one big breath in through the nose, and out through the mouth. Another breath in through the nose, and out through the mouth. One more, in through the nose, and out through the mouth. That took about 15 seconds, and if you did it, you’ll likely feel a difference.

Ashish Kothari: It's beautiful, Brian, and for those who say they don't have time for meditation or mindfulness, here’s the beauty of it: if you look at the definition of mindfulness, Jon Kabat-Zinn coined it, and I love it because it makes it accessible to everyone.

He defined mindfulness as the awareness that arises when you pay attention to the present moment with intention, without judgment.

Your body is already living in the present—it has no choice. It's always in the present. But the mind, 70 to 80 percent of the time, is either in the past, in the future, or thinking about something else entirely.

Yes, meditation as a formal practice can be unbelievably powerful, and I really hope you do it. Both Brian and I have done 10-day Vipassana meditations, where you meditate for 10 days.

But you don’t have to start by meditating. You can start by being mindful, which is as simple as what Brian said. In our Rewire programs, we always start with mindful practices, which means whatever you're doing, do it mindfully.

Focus on one task at a time, and do it throughout the day. Notice how your experience changes. You'll start retraining your brain, enjoying your food more, tasting it because you're present. You'll feel the connection in a conversation because you're truly engaged. When you're out in nature, you'll notice the birds singing, or a rabbit nibbling on something, like I see right now.

You start to notice, smell, and be present. When you enjoy it, you'll want to do more of it. The problem today is that people think meditation means sitting in a room for five or ten minutes with a mind that’s completely still.

They try it, but their minds wander, and they think they’ve failed. But mindfulness isn’t about not thinking—it’s about being present. Try it, and notice the beauty and magic that mindfulness through these little moments, like breathing or removing distractions, can create for you.

Let’s move to the second part: activity. So, Brian, talk a little about what you mean by activity.

Brian Dubow: For me, activity means moving your body. It’s so easy to wake up, sit at your desk, and then suddenly it’s 9 p.m. You may have gone to the bathroom a few times, maybe made yourself some lunch, but you’ve taken only 800 steps around your house or apartment.

For me, exercise is key to my happiness. On days I don’t exercise, I don’t feel like myself. When I do, I have an energy that makes me excited to be alive.

Now, that’s not true for everyone. For some people, mindfulness or gratitude might be their biggest thing. But for me, I need to move my body to feel like myself. That being said, moving your body doesn’t have to mean going for a run or going to the gym.

It can be as simple as a 10- to 15-minute walk outside, seeing the sun, getting into nature. Whether you do it in the morning, during your lunch break, or at the end of the day, it will make a dramatic impact on your life.

There’s a study that shows 30 minutes of exercise three times a week is more impactful than the leading antidepressants. So many people are looking for a quick fix, and many are struggling with the loneliness epidemic and other issues. This is it—MAGIC is it. As simple as 10 to 15 minutes of activity can make a difference.

One core philosophy I want to emphasize is that mood follows action. So many of us wait until we feel a certain way to take action. We wait until we feel energized to exercise, calm to meditate, or sociable to be around others.

But the truth is, the mood you want comes after the action. By exercising, I feel energized. By meditating or being mindful, I feel calmer. So, if you want to feel a certain way, jumpstart your brain by taking the action that leads to that feeling.

For me, exercise releases endorphins and gets me into my body for the day. It’s become a huge part of my morning routine.

Ashish Kothari: Yeah, I love that, Brian. And for the listeners, Brian knows I'm quite vocal about this. Of the nine Hardwired for Happiness practices, well-being is one of them. We talk about mental, physical, and spiritual well-being.

Physical well-being is one of my growth edges because I can easily wake up and start reading or doing something else. I have a habit of calling my parents every morning, and before I know it, the time flies, and I haven't done my exercise.

Here’s something that's worked for me over the last six to twelve months, as I've been more intentional about it. Am I successful seven days a week? No, but I'm pretty consistent three to four days a week. My Apple fitness tells me I get my 60 minutes of exercise almost every day. And even on days when I only manage three sessions, I still feel successful.

Here’s what’s helped me a lot. First, I reprogrammed my mindset. I used to think that if I wasn’t exercising for 45 minutes, it wasn’t worth doing at all. But even 10 or 15 minutes is worth it. That’s been a big shift for me. The second thing is overcoming inertia.

As Brian mentioned, there's a lot of resistance to action. I don’t feel like doing it, so I don’t. What’s worked for me is starting small. Stretching is something I’ve focused on more because I’m 50 and have spent 20 years sitting for long periods, whether on planes or at work. Our bodies aren’t meant to sit that way.

So, I start by touching my toes—just that. Once I do that, I feel like extending further and moving into a down dog. Then, a plank follows. The moment I’m in plank, I lower myself into a cobra. Suddenly, I’m flowing through the motions.

But if I don’t take that first step, I convince myself that I don’t have enough time, and it can wait until tomorrow. It’s the idea that mood follows action, and the action can be as simple as one step.

Brian Dubow: That's right.

Ashish Kothari: Put your shoes on and take that first step outside instead of worrying about whether you’re ready for a run or have enough time. Really simple ways to get started—start tomorrow. Move every day.

There’s a study by Mayo Clinic that said sitting is the new smoking. We sit so much and move so little. Even if you just commit to standing up during a meeting or going for a walk during a call, it makes a difference. It’s about integrating movement into everyday life.

Brian Dubow: Exactly. And to reemphasize, the idea of habit stacking is key. Whether it's taking a meeting while moving or calling your parents while on a walk, we're not asking you to add more to your day. Most people already feel like they have no extra time. Instead, layer movement into the things you're already doing.

Ashish Kothari: Exactly. So, let’s move to the third one—gratitude.

Brian Dubow: Gratitude changes your entire outlook on the world. It did for me.

Ashish Kothari: Yeah, it did for me too. It’s the practice that changed my brain.

Brian Dubow: I like to say it reframes your reality. And if you're listening to this right now, and you have a roof over your head and know where your next meal is coming from, you’re one of the lucky ones. There’s a lot of struggle out there, and chances are, six out of seven things in your life are going really well.

There’s probably one thing that’s not great—maybe something at work, or an issue in your relationship, or not getting the bonus you wanted. But if you fixate on that one thing, your whole life will feel like it’s in that shadow.

When you appreciate the good in your life, the good appreciates in value. Think about your life as a tennis match. If you won six games in a set and lost one, you’d be thrilled because you won the set. But our brains tend to fixate on that one loss.

Of course, we should learn from what didn’t go well, but let’s focus on the wins because life is good. At the end of the day, what you choose to focus on shapes your reality. That’s the life we live in because our attention creates our reality. How did it change your life, Ashish?

Ashish Kothari: Well, for me, after 20 years as a consultant, when your core job is to quickly identify opportunities for your clients, you can find flaws in everything—even in perfection. You can say, "This is too perfect," because when you're trained that way, you see what’s not working.

And that doesn’t just happen at work. People think they can be one way at work and different in life, but no—we live one life. The way we train our brains is how we see everything else, and that was true for me, too.

Once I started a formal gratitude practice—one of the highest ROI practices, by the way—it changed everything. Writing down just three things you're grateful for, even once a week, can have such a profound impact in eight weeks or less.

Your perspective on life changes—your life satisfaction, anxiety, depression, even your sleep improves. These benefits are well-researched across cultures. It’s no surprise that gratitude shows up in every wisdom tradition: saying grace in Christianity, the concept of Santosha in Hinduism and Buddhism, and in Stoicism. It’s everywhere because it works.

Gratitude helps rewire the negativity bias in our brain that evolved to keep us safe, not happy. So try it. In fact, try it at work. What do we usually bond over at work? Often it’s what’s not good—complaining about a boss, a coworker, the amount of work, or having to go into the office. We tend to focus on what’s wrong.

For leaders, my invitation is to create a gratitude practice once a week with your team. Be thankful and appreciate those who make a big difference. Consciously reflect on the gains made toward your goals, rather than focusing on the gap that still needs closing.

Notice how it changes the energy in your teams, boosts creativity, increases psychological safety, and helps you do more.

Gratitude is a core part of the work Brian and I do with individuals and clients. If you’re listening today, start adopting a gratitude practice—once a week with your family, and at work. See how it unleashes magic in your life.

Brian Dubow: I just want to touch on one thing you said—our brains keep us safe, not happy. That’s such an important point. It’s a big part of why we’re in business. If our brains were designed to keep us happy, we wouldn’t need all these practices—they would happen naturally.

But our brains evolved to keep us alive, especially hundreds of thousands of years ago when we faced constant threats. So, our brains are always looking for danger or a threat and trying to mitigate it. That’s why we have this negativity bias.

Now, we live in a world where animals aren’t chasing us, but the threats are different—like the phones in our pockets. A notification makes us feel a sense of fear.

So, the reason we have these practices—mindfulness, activity, gratitude, inspiration, and connection—is to rewire our brains. Our brains keep us safe, but we don’t need them to be as vigilant as before. Instead, we want to rewire them for happiness.

Ashish Kothari: Yeah, thank you, my friend. So let's go to the fourth—Inspiration. Talk to us a little bit about inspiration.

Brian Dubow: Yeah, this is a big one for me, and Ashish has spent enough time with me to know I’m a pretty playful person. I try to let out the inner child in me because, as we grow up, we stop playing.

We stop doing the things that inspire us. Especially with our consulting backgrounds, Ashish, my brain was hardwired for productivity and utilization. It was really hard when I left consulting to not think, "How is this hour going to be productive?"

I had a lot of anxiety just sitting on the couch doing nothing, thinking, "What am I accomplishing right now?" To me, inspiration is about bringing back that childlike sense of wonder and awe, or doing something that genuinely inspires you to take action.

Often, we take action because we have to—because our job or life requires it. But in a meaningful, happy life, I believe we should be doing things that inspire us.

Inspiration could be doing one thing a day, even if it's just for three minutes, that sparks energy and excitement. It could be something simple like doing a crossword puzzle, playing with Play-Doh while drinking coffee, journaling, listening to a TED Talk, or even your favorite podcast.

Something that gets your brain excited. How excited we are about the future correlates with our happiness. When our ideas start flowing, like in a creative brainstorming session, my brain rarely has more fun.

So, what can you do? Who can you talk to? Who will inspire you today? As adults, we’ve lost that, but it doesn’t take much to bring it back. It just takes intentionality.

Ashish Kothari: I love that, Brian. There are two or three things you unpacked there. I love your notion of connecting with the inner child. Friends, you don’t need to teach a child to be present, happy, or curious.

The number of questions we ask from ages three or four to seven or eight decreases by 70 to 80 percent. We stop asking questions because the world beats it out of us, and it also beats play out of us.

Remember as a child, what did you do? We loved to play. In fact, we learned through playing. But as we grow up, we stop playing, and when we learn, it’s in classrooms rather than through play and action. So, this inspiration to reconnect and bring more play into your life is powerful.

Brian, I have to tell you, one of my most inspiring moments actually happened two days ago, and I had to stop and reflect on it. I was at a grocery store.

Brian Dubow: Okay.

Ashish Kothari: Now, grocery stores aren’t typically inspiring, but here’s what happened. I was in the fruit aisle, thinking about what I was going to eat—apples, bananas, melons, the usual. But then I noticed there were over 30 different varieties of fruit, many of which I had never tried.

Even with apples, there were eight different varieties. And I had this moment of complete wonder and awe at the magic unfolding all around us. None of these fruits were human-made. Nature created them.

Different varieties, all with unique tastes, smells, and appearances. We add sugar to things, but fruits are naturally sweet, sour, vibrant, and fragrant. I just stood there in awe of the magic that’s always around us.

Usually, we’re in such a hurry—we just grab what we need and go. But in that moment, I stepped back and thought, "How much is around us, and what is this magical force at play that creates this incredible variety of food?"

Brian Dubow: Yeah, I love that. I love that you followed your curiosity. It's easy to notice something like, "Oh, there are lots of fruits here," and then just pick your usual apple and move on.

But instead, you followed that thought—wondering where all the fruits came from, what they taste like, maybe even trying new ones. That shows you're willing to follow your curiosity, which is something we often lose as adults.

I like to tell coaching clients: pay attention to what you pay attention to. That can be a powerful way to figure out what interests and inspires you.

Ashish Kothari: Yes, and infuse more play, friends. There's a researcher named Stuart Brown who wrote a great book called Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination. It’s a beautiful book.

Bring more inspiration into your life through conversations, play, and cultivating presence—in your teams and in your personal life—and see the magic unfold.

Let's move to the last topic: connections. Talk a little bit about why connections matter and how we can build deeper connections. It feels like we're more connected than ever in this digital world, but at the same time, we’re lonelier than ever. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.

Brian Dubow: Absolutely. You're right—we live in a world where we have so many connections on social media, whether it’s LinkedIn, Facebook, or Instagram. I had a conversation with a friend who has hundreds of thousands of Instagram followers, yet she still felt lonely. So, there's a clear difference between having followers or connections and actually feeling connected.

We know from research that relationships are the number one predictor of happiness. A 75-year Harvard study showed that the quality—not the quantity—of relationships was the best predictor of happiness. The key question is, how do you cultivate meaningful relationships, where you don’t have to wear a mask, and people are with you because they truly see and hear you?

It’s simpler than you think. It starts with reaching out to people, letting them know you’re thinking about them, and listening. One exercise you and I have done together, Ashish, is to have someone ask another person, “How are you?” and then listen for two to three minutes.

It’s incredible how much more people learn in those few minutes than they’ve learned from working with someone for years.

We tend to live at a surface level, with the standard answer to “How are you?” being “Good, you?”—and you’ve learned nothing. So, for me, it’s about listening and building the habit of reaching out to one person a day. Let them know you’re thinking of them, or that something reminded you of them.

Ideally, a FaceTime call can be so nourishing. It often feels uncomfortable to reach out, but you’re not just supporting yourself—you’re also supporting the other person. Giving to others is giving to yourself.

We live in a world where social media gives us the illusion of connection, but often it leads to comparing your internal experience to everyone else’s external one. That’s not a fair comparison. So, take it into your own hands—reach out, connect, and make a difference, not just for yourself but for those you care about. Start with a simple text or call each day.

Ashish Kothari: Yes, and shameless plug here: when you connect with someone and wonder what to share, forward them our podcast! If you’ve enjoyed it, share this episode with them. It’s a free way to spread the word, and it could help someone who needs it.

I’ve had a practice for years: every day, if I know someone whose birthday it is, I call them. I don’t text or email unless I don’t have their number. It’s a simple act, but most people don’t do it. Just think of how happy you feel when someone remembers your birthday. That connection can bring so much joy, and it’s such a simple way to build this habit of connecting with others.

Connections really make up about 60 percent of a person’s well-being and health. If we tap into that, we can unlock magic in our lives.

Brian, this has been an amazing conversation. Thank you for creating this simple yet powerful word—magic. I knew when I first heard about this framework from you that we needed to share it with our listeners. It’s about inspiring people to turn mundane moments into magical ones so that every day, they can feel more alive. Thank you.

Brian Dubow: To me, MAGIC is the path from feeling comfortably numb to feeling alive. So many of us get to a point where we know we're not happy, but we’re not doing much about it, or we don’t know what to do about it. We just go through the motions. MAGIC is the set of steps that help you feel alive, where every day is exciting. That’s what I’ve seen with the people I’ve worked with as well.

Ashish Kothari: Well, my friend, thank you. I’m so excited that we’re continuing our journey together and collaborating on Rewire with several corporate clients.

If you’re listening to this podcast and want to bring a little MAGIC from Brian and Happiness Squad into your life, your team’s life, or your organization, to move towards higher performance, more connections, and inspiring, magical moments at work—rather than just dragging through the days—please email us. We’d be happy to help.

Brian, thank you. This has been an inspiring conversation, and I’m grateful for our partnership and everything we’re building together.

Brian Dubow: I’m so grateful too, Ashish, and that goes both ways. This is a fun journey. And yes, we’d love to help anyone listening or anyone they know to rewire their brain and experience the magic of life. It can truly be a blissful place, and that’s why we’re in business—to help. Take care.